My name is Alyx and I love Jesus Christ. I love people and i do my best to be the best person i can be.
Its these super late nights when i have to be up at 6 in the morning and i cant sleep and i decide to get on facebook and look at old pictures and happen upon ones where i can see just how dark and hurting and just ugly i was no matter how beautiful the picture. they bring up pain.. and things i havent let go. things that haunt me cause i can’t believe that i was the way i was. i let them haunt me cause im scared to go back there again. im scared cause i dont want to hurt everyone around me again. im scared because that is my true nature. to suffer and make everyone suffer with me. unknowingly or knowingly. it doesnt matter. id be right there… if it wasn’t for Jesus. id be right there, repeating the same old mistakes. the same old sins. id be with the same guy. in the same place. doomed to repeat the past over and over and over again. id be doomed to make sure that i would hold everyone back with me just so i wouldnt be alone again. Jesus filled the void that was a black hole just sucking in everything. sucking in all the light.. all the good. He filled me up. picked me back up and put me back on my feet again. i hated myself. He loves me. He loves me through and through. He will never leave me. If i fall, He picks me back up again. He holds me. Keeps me safe in the storms. I will run back to Him always. He is the love of my life. He’s the answer of all the unanswered questions in life. what’s the meaning of life? Jesus. He’s the driving force of my life.